hello,
it’s been a few days since we last texted, and i’ve been reflecting on what you said. while i agreed with a few things, there were other things that i didn’t agree with. i think you’re a perceptive person. and so i didn’t want to dismiss what you said without deeper thought.
you’re right that many times i take things personally. an abusive childhood and decades of negative reinforcements have contributed to that. but it’s also true that over time, i’ve gotten much better at letting things go and i accept myself for who i am now. you’re also right that sometimes i find the chase exciting. it’s been a way of improving my self-esteem in the past and a way to feel aroused in a relationship. but it’s also true that i know what my worth is and i’m happy and content on my own as well.
it was a million in one chance that we spun a wheel at the same time and embarked on this ‘noodly adventure’. i don’t know where it will take us, but whatever we have, we’re in it together. and so, for that reason, i think i owe you an apology. i thought i was giving you the appropriate amount of space, but i didn’t consider that you may define space differently than i do. i jumped to conclusions and put excessive expectations on you to make me feel cared for. i mistook your need for reflection as a sign that you were keeping me at arm’s length. i’m sorry for my actions. it was because i didn’t know what your boundaries are and i had a preconceived notion of what these boundaries should be. i’m not going to assume anything anymore and i’m going to manage my insecurities in a better way. i hope we can get past this and you understand where i’m coming from as well.
deepanshi
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