For loss

The battle of light versus dark has spanned over millenia, and each time we celebrate the victory of light and give blessings in its holy name...Yet today, forgive this melancholy because I cannot resist indulging in it...Let tonight lie in the realm between light and dark, where we all reside unknowingly...For those who are not with us, we pray to our own Gods for peace and comfort...For those things we cannot change, we accept our weakness and fight for the strength to overcome...But we do not celebrate victory tonight...We lie in the realm between light and dark tonight...

The Three Musketeers

D'Artagnan: Athos, why don't you come join us?
Athos: You fight like a man. See if you can drink like one.
D'Artagnan: I'll drink anything you put in front of me.
Athos: Famous last words... What should we drink to?
D'Artagnan: Let's drink to love.
Athos: [Snorts] To love. Let me tell you a story about love, D'Artagnan. I knew a young man once, a Count, who feared he would never fall in love. One day, he met a woman. This woman was more than beautiful. She was intoxicating, mysterious, everything he'd ever dreamed of. He felt his heart would burst if he couldn't have her.
D'Artagnan: What happened?
Athos: The poor idiot married her.
D'Artagnan: Isn't that what people do when they fall in love?
Athos: Shut up and listen to me. They were riding through the forest one day. She was thrown from her horse and knocked unconscious. When he rushed to her side, he noticed a mark on her body... something he'd never seen before, something she'd managed to keep hidden all this time.
D'Artagnan: What was it?
Athos: The brand of the fleur-de-lis, the mark given to those who are to be executed for murder. The Count was crushed. The woman he loved, his bride, had betrayed him. She'd lied to him. When she came to, she swore that she'd been falsely accused of these crimes, but he didn't believe her; he rejected her for her lies and for her past. Then he banished her from his province. When the guards came to take her away to be executed, she... she was still professing her undying love. Soon after, the Count realized how much she had meant to him, but it was too late. His betrayal was far greater than hers could ever have been. He gave up his title, his land, everything he believed in, never to be seen or heard from again, all because of love. 

What I want

Welcome to the jungle.

Today let me talk your hand

And I’ll show you what I see.

I see corpses walking,

Running,

Crying.

One shop to the other,

Buying this, buying that.

And deep down inside they’re weeping, screaming

They want to break free.

They want the money,

They want the holy land where they don’t need to feel.

No baby diapers or BMWs

Yes they want, no they don’t.

They want everything

And they’ll race each other for it,

Yes they’ll kill for it.

Murderers,

Raiding the town willing to kill what’s inside for a piece of shiny metal.

And the metal whips burn

And torment

They’re so illusive, so addictive

For a body.

But an addiction never ends,

Till it breaks,

Tears, rips and leaves a burned soul behind.

Oh devil, take me,

They beg till the scars show on the skin

From damage to a soul never meant to breathe.

It’s a straight-jacket your silk suit and socks.

It’s a life-machine your sunglasses and phone.

And these corporations and families and babies everywhere

Just ripping at your hair, your skin, your eyes

Wanting more more more.

It’s a moment’s joy,

The shiny metal.

It’s a moment’s joy

That waiter bowing down

And it’s a just a damn moment’s delight

That piece of soft cloth covering your shame.

And more, till something better comes along

And you want that too.

And you’ll kill for it,

You’ll kill yourself slowly for it.

You’ll inject yourself with fakeness and smiles for it.

I’m no family person,

I don’t want that green lawn with a pretty house

And nasty kids running around happily.

I don’t want to feel safe.

I don’t want the pain.

Give me medicines to cure it,

Give me doctor to make me pretty.

Give me a body to feel warm at night.

Give me a sin to feel alive each day.

 Because this feeling of cold shiny metal lasts for a flicker.

But so does every damn thing else.

Why give up addictions?

Because nothing lasts in this flicker of a life.

I’m not a baby anymore.

I have different dreams now.

Give me sea, give me mountains.

No give me metal and plastic and jewels and toxins.

Give me more.

I want to rule the world,

I want the power and I want control.

I want the bending and the bowing

And the right to reject

I want the world in my palms

And I want to crush it with all my might.

Yes that’s what I want

And then maybe I’ll breathe for a minute.

Or maybe I won’t because

It’ll be over

I’ll be dead then.  

It is time

I don’t want to be fat anymore.

I don’t want to go out with any guys.

I just want to look in the mirror and feel good about myself.

I want to look beautiful and feel nice.

I am going to change.

It is time.

It is time.

Enough of these bad things

And the rebellion. 

I'm going to be with the good people,

I'm going to change,

It is time

It is time.