I keep looking over my shoulder
Hoping to see a message or a call
And I don’t know how long I can keep this up
Without ripping my hair out
But I just can’t help it.
You made me fall in love with you, you brute.
Yeah, its because of you I keep on hoping,
Praying, crying for a day when you see
See how much I love you.
And I don’t know how long I can keep this up,
But I just can’t help it.
Cause how can I get over you?
Someone please tell me how,
Cause how I can just forget the three most intense years of my life,
And, and I just feel that I was addicted to having you around
And now when you’re not there
I see that even if I try to,
I could never return to what I used to be,
A mess, an unreserved overworked mess.
And I just keep on staring at your picture all day long
When I cant see the words in my books anymore
When I cant sleep and
And when I walk around aimlessly
Wondering what you’re doing, what you’re thinking,
If you’re missing me.
And I don’t know how long I can keep this up
But I just can’t help it.
I can’t.
God kill me if I lie
I’ve tried
I’ve tried forgetting you
Forgetting every time you caressed my cheek
Every time you smiled at me
Every time you shouted at me
Every single time you looked into my eyes,
And said that you would always love me.
Did you lie?
Cause if you did, then you’re no better than me in lies
But God kill me if I lie
About how crazy I am about you.
And I just want nothing but the best for you
And the hot chick who’ll be your girlfriend someday
Cause you deserve it
You may not think you do
But you deserve it.
And all I can think about is how ten years from now
I'll see you once again
With someone else dangling off your strong arms
And I’ll be alone,
Successful,
But alone.
And I don’t know how long I can keep this up
But I just can’t help it.
And I don’t want to push you away
But I just don’t know what I can do any more.
I just don’t know.
And here I go looking again
And again
And again
Again, again, again,
A message, a call
But its not there
It will never be there.
Because I’m not like you
Independent
Strong
Emotionless.
God kill me if I lie
I’ve tried being someone else
But I can’t.
I just can’t,
No matter how hard I try
To be emotionless and cold and happy
I can’t
Because I can change the little things
But how can I change the most basic thing about me
My passion
And I know you’ll say it will destroy me
And I don’t want to fall into ruin
But for fuck’s sake
Tell me how can I change the core of my being.
Yes I know its my loss
And I can’t blame you
So, Mr. Brute, I won’t blame you.
I’ll die, but I won’t blame you,
Thank you very much
Because I’m the joke you’ll laugh about ten years from now
When you tell tales of an obsessed idiotic girl
Who you’re glad to get rid of
So thank you very much
And I don’t know how long I can keep this up
But I just can’t help it.
The memory of you in my veins under my skin
Pulled, stretched, torn beyond repair
And I bleed you now,
And you shall only finish when every drop of blood has been spilled
Because that’s how deep you are in me.
My drug, my poison, my antidote.
I don’t know how long I can keep this up
But I can’t
I just can’t help it.
