Dear Avi,
This is a letter you might never read because I don't think you're ever going to ask me to come back to you... But it's okay... And just in case by some bizzare plan of fate we meet again, I'd want you to read this...
I can't come back to you. Too much has happened. Too much pain has passed. Your complete lack of understanding of things that tear my soul apart and wound my heart beyond repair is one reason. But it's not your fault. I still love you beyond compare. It's just that we're two very different people who can't understand or act upon to prevent what hurts the other. It's not worth the pain any more.... A guy said to me once that he would keep me so happy if I married him that I wouldn't ever need to even put a foot on the ground. He might have been lying. He might have been exaggerating. It doesn't really matter.
But don't misunderstand. I don't want some chutiya who'll wag his tail like a dog for me.. Definitely not...I just wanted someone who can love me like no one else... And sweetheart, no one seems to be able to beat you in that quarter.... But we just can't get along... And though I lost my heart on the way.... And I know I can't get it back.. I know we can't get back... I have to move on.... I have to grow up some day... And that day is today....
But don't ever think it's your fault. There's just no magic solution with which you or I will suddenly realize what to do to make the other happy. It's just reality. Cold, bitter reality. The sooner we face, the quicker we can move on...
So I can't come back to you... I can honestly say that I've never loved anyone so much in my life... And by some cruel coincidence of fate, never been hurt by that same person so much...unintentionally as it as... That is why I'll never blame you...It's more about my inability to remain happy with you rather than you being able to make me happy... And so, if I am hurt, I am the one to blame, not you...
It's amazing.. It's so horrific... I loved you with all my heart, soul, body and mind...
Truly,
Tami....
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