My dear Hotness,
It was magical when we first spoke - your silly, self-deprecating jokes and PowerPuff Girls song rendition really had my heart skipping a beat. And when we met, multiple times, it felt so simple to be with you - because you gave me space and I didn't feel the need to name what we had or rush into a commitment like with the guys before you. I didn't have to apologize for my work habits or my smoking habits, I felt like I could reach out to you when I needed and you wouldn't play games - just be, and let me be.
But as much as I treasure your friendship and company, I can't do this anymore. I'm not a stickler for commitment (I think it takes time), but the last couple of conversations with you have left me feeling terribly disoriented. It's good to know that you've found someone who's special to you - your "girlfriend", who gets your polyamory, who you think could be the one, who you fast for and who you're "promised" to, but I don't get your continued ability to be with other people - though I'll attribute that to my limited ability to understand the full gamut of human emotions and thoughts. So no judgement for you (believe me, it's true). But I just can't be in this stalemate anymore. I wasn't really seeking your love and loyalty from Day 1 (or even Day 100), but I can't be with someone who can't even imagine loving and being loyal to a single person (me) especially when it appears they've already found true love elsewhere that transcends anything that I can hope to offer.
It hurts, it hurts a lot to do this. And I know I'm going to regret my decision once or twice (or maybe forty two times), but I have to do this (or maybe I don't, but if there is an alternate, acceptable path, it is hidden from me). This in no way changes the respect and affection I have for you - nothing can ever take that away. My will has wavered a lot in saying this to you, but here it is - I can't see you anymore Hotness, I aspire to be more than the n-th person in someone's life.
Best,
Just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her
It was magical when we first spoke - your silly, self-deprecating jokes and PowerPuff Girls song rendition really had my heart skipping a beat. And when we met, multiple times, it felt so simple to be with you - because you gave me space and I didn't feel the need to name what we had or rush into a commitment like with the guys before you. I didn't have to apologize for my work habits or my smoking habits, I felt like I could reach out to you when I needed and you wouldn't play games - just be, and let me be.
But as much as I treasure your friendship and company, I can't do this anymore. I'm not a stickler for commitment (I think it takes time), but the last couple of conversations with you have left me feeling terribly disoriented. It's good to know that you've found someone who's special to you - your "girlfriend", who gets your polyamory, who you think could be the one, who you fast for and who you're "promised" to, but I don't get your continued ability to be with other people - though I'll attribute that to my limited ability to understand the full gamut of human emotions and thoughts. So no judgement for you (believe me, it's true). But I just can't be in this stalemate anymore. I wasn't really seeking your love and loyalty from Day 1 (or even Day 100), but I can't be with someone who can't even imagine loving and being loyal to a single person (me) especially when it appears they've already found true love elsewhere that transcends anything that I can hope to offer.
It hurts, it hurts a lot to do this. And I know I'm going to regret my decision once or twice (or maybe forty two times), but I have to do this (or maybe I don't, but if there is an alternate, acceptable path, it is hidden from me). This in no way changes the respect and affection I have for you - nothing can ever take that away. My will has wavered a lot in saying this to you, but here it is - I can't see you anymore Hotness, I aspire to be more than the n-th person in someone's life.
Best,
Just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her
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